It’s over... The season of glutton and glee has officially ended, only to be replaced by what I like to call "The Season of Regret and Remorse." I’m referring, of course, to those first six or so weeks of each year that we all pledge our resolutions and make earnest plans to carry them out. It’s convenient, isn’t it, that we do this directly following the month that we overate, overspent, and overcommitted ourselves to the point of complete exhaustion that the only way to stop the cycle is to resolve to change our wicked ways. And really, do we ever change the actual resolutions? I know I don’t. In fact, I should just laminate my list and pull it out each January (I’ll use the pocket laminator I got in the office gift exchange). I did an Internet search of the most popular New Year’s resolutions and it looks like they just took my list and posted it. Depressing, really, to find out I’m not so unique. But also a little heartening to know others struggle just like I do. (Just once, though, I’d love to meet someone who achieved all her resolutions and get her autograph. But I think I would be too awe-struck, like if I met George Clooney in person.)
But this year – this year will be different! (Please stop laughing.) No, really, it is going to be different, because this year I will not strive to be a "new me." I want to be the old me. A new me might frighten my children, and my husband seems to be fond of the old me, so why change things? As a working mom, making resolutions that directly benefit just me seems kind of selfish and kicks in my "working mommy guilt" (yes, everything I do has working mommy guilt all over it). But throw in a "for the children’s sake," and man, I’ll jump right on that bandwagon. This year, instead of laminating our usual resolutions, why don’t we remake them into actual, workable goals that benefit us and our kids? Sounds like a good plan to me. (Especially because my laminator came with instructions written in Dutch so I can’t figure out how to work it.) So to all my fellow moms out there, I give you my top five Not-So-New-Me Resolutions.
1. OLD: I resolve to eat better.
NEW: I resolve not to clean my child’s plate because I feel I must. It’s okay to throw away 57 cents’ worth of fries and chicken nuggets. I just won’t tell my mother.
2. OLD: I resolve to exercise more.
NEW: I resolve to not waste money on a gym membership where I’m too intimidated to workout, anyway. Instead, I resolve to spend at least one hour a week playing in the yard with my kids. And in cold weather, I resolve to crank up my radio and make up silly dances.
3. OLD: I resolve to get more involved in my children’s school.
NEW: I resolve to write thank you notes to the chairwomen of all the different PTA-type committeesthanking them for their dedication and including a donation for the next fundraiser with my regrets for not volunteering. (Take that, working mommy guilt!)
4. OLD: I resolve to get a better job.
NEW: I resolve to evaluate my current job and determine if it is within my power to change things for a better work/life balance. I will spearhead researching options, and will ask my boss for cooperation and advice.
5. OLD: I resolve to save money.
NEW: I resolve to set aside at least fifty dollars a monthto go into whatever account I think is most necessary, whether that be a college fund, a Christmas fund, or a vacation fund. For short-term financial goals, I resolve to find at least two recipes that I can always have the ingredients on hand for and can make super-quick to help me not reach for the takeout menus on busy weeknights.
Okay, so I can live with the above resolutions. No, they won’t change my life, but they will improve it and help me balance my ever-increasing workload. Maybe this is the year I’ll stick to them. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll be regifting that laminating machine next year because I won’t need it. Come next January, I’ll be happy to send you my autograph free-of-charge as the Woman Who Stuck With Her Resolutions. Here’s to a new year and a not-so-new me!
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